Tips for Talking about Bullying

According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services 1 in 4  U.S. students say they have been bullied and 70.6% of young people say they have been “bystanders” (witnessed bullying).  As adults we may find ourselves at a loss for what to say or do, so how do we stop this epidemic? Empowerment is key. When we define bullying and its many forms we can employ strategies and tactics that turn our youth from bystanders into upstanders. MicheLee Puppets uses puppetry as a disarming and relate-able way to convey these messages to students in A Good Day for Pancake (K-2nd grade) and The Upstander League (3-5th grade).

Start the bully prevention conversation with your youth by using DRTDefinition, Roles and Tactics. Make it a game! Role play the different types of bullying to allow your child to practice being an Upstander. Remember, these tactics aren’t just for kids, adults can use them too.

DEFINTION- Define BULLYING:

Bullying is intentional behavior that is repeated or has the potential to be repeated. It creates a real or perceived imbalance of power and is used to harm someone and their reputation. Some examples are:

 

ROLES- Define ROLES in a bullying situation:

Person exhibiting bullying behavior

Person being Targeted by the bullying behavior

Bystander- someone who witnesses bullying 

Upstander- someone who witnesses bullying and does something to stop it

 

 

 

 

TACTICS- Share these strategies that any bystander can use in a bullying situation

Encourage your child to report in person, so that they can clarify the facts. If they are nervous, reporting can be done in a note, even written anonymously if they fear retaliation.

Why is REPORTING important?
In order to have the proper resources to combat bullying, reporting is essential. Many states report bullying through school INCIDENT RECORDS rather than through student surveys. States then report only a 1% bullying rate. 2 out of 3 schools report 0 cases, and yet according to the The National Center for Education Statistics 21 of every 100 kids ages 12 – 18 are bullied at school. 1 in 10 students cite repeated bullying as the reason they drop out.

 

“Be a Friend” is a crucial, especially with social/emotional bullying. This tactic can be one of the most difficult to use because it can mean standing up to friends, however, the more people who use this tactic, the more effective it becomes.

We often hear of “frenemies”, individuals who suddenly exclude or spread rumors about a friend. It is up to bystanders to become upstanders and  combat this behavior with friendship.

Whether or not you and the TARGET are friends, you can still “be a friend” by speaking up for the TARGET, including them in groups, and refusing to spread rumors. And, of course, report any bullying behavior to an adult that you trust.

 

“Ignore the bully” works especially when groups of people participate. To ignore the bully is not to ignore the situation. Reporting is an essential component.  Many people bully because they want to get attention. Simply refusing to be an audience can stop bullying in its tracks.

This tactic is crucial for cyberbullying. Don’t respond online, even if it is to stand up for the TARGET of the bullying. Report the bullying to a trusted adult, then delete.

 
 

 

 

 

Distracting a BULLY can help a TARGET escape a dangerous situation. Talk directly to the bully, even use their name and do something to get their attention.

Upstanders can shout something like “Hey (insert bully’s name) the cafeteria’s giving out free ice cream right now!” or “The Principal is coming.” Upstanders can even find funny videos on their device to show the bully or dance around wildly to get their attention. What other distractions can you and your child create?

 
 

 

 

 
Creating an excuse such as “Your Mom is here to pick you up” can help remove a TARGET from a dangerous situation. This technique is especially important to combat physical bullying.

Be prepared! Practice excuses that can remove a Target from a bullying situation. Think of public locations such as a playground, library, party, etc. and come up with excuses that could apply in each location. Determine which excuses will work in a school setting.

Your child may have questions about lying related to giving excuses. Remind your child that these excuses are for emergency situations (similar to stranger danger) to keep someone from getting hurt.
 

 

Standing up can take many forms, but at its essence, it means to tell the bully to stop. People may think of physical violence, such as in “A Christmas Story” when Ralphie, a TARGET of bullying, fights back bloodying the bully’s nose.  This is not what we mean. By adding to violence, it puts more people in danger. Words Have Power. 

Tell the bully to stop. Get others to do the same. Groups are powerful against bullying. If someone is spreading rumors, verbally bullying someone, or physically bullying them, tell them to stop. Speak with confidence. Then report the bullying to a trusted adult.

 

Click here to book “A Good Day for Pancake” (K-2nd grade) or “The Upstander League” (3-5th grade at your school or venue.

 

RESOURCES 

The Upstander League -A Bully Story from MicheLee Puppets on Vimeo. On his first day at a new school, Steven becomes the target of bullying. Instead of helping, his peers join in, leaving Steven feeling powerless. Learn how upstanders can make a difference in a bullying situation by using tactics such as “Be a Friend” and “Stand Up to the Bully.” MicheLee Puppets makes learning fun with shadow puppetry in The Upstander League “A Bully Story.”

Click here for a digital download of

“The Upstander League Comic Book

Join “The Upstander League”! Learn how to stand up to bullying with “The Upstander League” official handbook! The Upstander League includes everyday citizens, like you, who witness bullying and do something to stop it. With this comic book, you will have the tactics to help stop any bullying situation. Enjoy stories and activities that will take you from witness to Upstander.

Click Here for video and The Orlando Sentinel’s article on The Upstander League

 

 

REFERENCES

Be informed. Use these resources for more information on bully prevention:

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

STOMP Out Bullying 

 

2015 Stories of Impact: Staff Picks- Executive Director Tracey Conner meets “Policeman Kevin”

As we count down to the New Year, Executive Director Tracey Conner shares her favorite story of impact from 2015: Click here to book “A Good Day for Pancake” at your school

As I reflect on 2015, MicheLee Puppets has had a year filled with so many meaningful and important stories of impact. If I had to pick just one, I would have to say  2nd Grader Arrests Bully is my favorite for 2015.

What continues to impress me throughout the years is the immediacy with which the audience responds to the puppets and the message. In the case of Policeman Kevin, he was so affected by the behavior of our bully puppet, that he was compelled to take action, putting on the persona of a police officer and threatening to “arrest” the bully. Kevin’s classmates, having just watched A Good Day For Pancake which taught them to stand together as upstanders, immediately came to assist him. They wanted to know why “Willie Walker” (the bully puppet) would behave in such a way, and together they stood up to him, just as the group of puppets had done in the show they had just seen.

Kevin’s heart was touched with compassion when he witnessed a bullying situation. He took the bully prevention tactic “Stand up to the Bully” to heart and he and his classmates became upstanders!

The students watched the show and got the message so clearly that when confronted with our bully puppet, they could spontaneously put into practice what they had just learned. Because of this experience, this
puppet show, these students now know what to do in real life. They are empowered to stand together to be strong. It’s a beautiful thing.

You can empower children, like Kevin and his classmates, to stand up to bullies with your tax deductible gift to MicheLee Puppets. If 10 people give $30, we can reach 100 children! Thank you for your support.